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Hello my fellow deplorables, ultra-MAGAs, right-wing radicals, semi-fascists, Nazis, or whatever the blue-anons are calling us today. Washington, D.C., needs an enema, and we are holding the nozzle.
My fiance and I flipped our wigs this weekend when we saw gas for “only” $3.16. We were elated! Then I remembered what Biden and the Democrats did to us by purposely driving up the price of gas, which drove up the price of everything. I was briefly fooled. Gas is still WAY more expensive under *President Biden. He brought the price of gas down to trick us prior to the November midterms, and it almost worked on me. Now I’m back to being Mr. Crankypants.
Don’t let falling gas prices fool you: it’s a plan to lull weary Americans out of our inflation rage so we won’t vote the Democrats into the cornfield this November.
FACT-O-RAMA! Libs like to say “the president doesn’t wake up and decide gas prices.” While true, Biden DOES have a lot of influence over the price of oil. He drove up the price by restricting oil drilling and exploration. He lowered the price of gas by releasing oil from our strategic reserves.
When Biden actually bothered to campaign before the 2020 election, he said he was going to end fossil fuels. He still plans to. He recently released oil from our strategic reserves (and begged other countries to do the same) to lower gas prices when his pencil-necked pollsters told him the Democrats, like turkeys, will get slaughtered en masse in November.
Those strategic reserves aren’t going to last forever. As sure as Elizabeth Warren’s DNA test, oil prices will skyrocket if the Democrats aren’t battered like fish in November, and high gas prices are all part of the plan.
When those oil reserves dry up like Hillary Clinton’s career, the price of gas will obviously jump again. Democrats get giddy over high gas prices because they are pushing us to buy electric vehicles (EV), you know, “for the planet.”
COINCIDENCE-O-RAMA? The Democrats are pushing us to buy electric cars. China dominates the cobalt industry, which is needed to make batteries for EVs. Hunter Biden’s “laptop from hell” is rumored (yeah, ok), to be brimming with shady deals with Chinese companies. The left is using environmentalism as a reason to push EVs on us. Guess who is speaheading the “green” movement? I’ll give you a hint: they create the world’s largest carbon footprint and make a mean crab rangoon.
China has been pushing the jolly green science myth, despite leading the world in leaving those big, bad carbon footprints—three times as much as the U.S.—that your liberal sister-in-law and her polypangender boi?friend like to screech about at family holidays.
Lower gas prices make us happy. We feel some much-needed relief, and after that comes forgiveness. You can forgive them if you like, but we can’t forget the financial damage they wrought when we vote in November. Inflation was a kick in the teeth as we were trying to stand up after the insanely inept Democrat COVID response that handicapped us for well over a year.
The Times Have Changed
JFK’s Democrat Party is a ghost. He fought the racist southern Democrats to bring civil rights to black people nationwide. Southern Democrats once turned fire hoses on black school kids. Today, they coddle and encourage violent criminals who ravage our cities. JFK would sit up and walk out of Arlington if he knew that today’s Democrats have dedicated themselves to mutilating the genitals of confused, attention-starved children.
JFK threatened WWIII when the Soviet commies put missiles in Cuba. Today’s Democrats actively push communist ideologies on our kids in school. It’s just one part of the plan to drag our nation down into Marxist hell.
What hasn’t changed is you. You endured the insane, bolshie lockdowns. You kept your head when our biggest cities burned. You didn’t punch your kid’s teacher when he asked your son if he ever thought about wearing a dress. You remained peaceful when the Democrats voted to hire 87,000 IRS agents, tried to have you fired for not getting a useless vaccine, and read your Facebook messages after you posted a Betsy Ross flag on your profile. You didn’t flip your lid when a boy in eyeliner took your daughter’s college swimming scholarship away.
Biden openly called you a “semi-fascist,” which was a dog whistle for his goons to attack us. Two liberal yobbos heard Biden’s call to arms: one ran over and killed 18-year-old Cayler Ellingson, and another cowardly “man” shot an 84-year-old pro-life woman in the back. That’s what we are up against. But you remained peaceful and focused.
Well done, you deserve a drink, but please make it a quick one.
Unfortunately, the commies are just beginning to fight. They won’t back down after a loss or two. If you read my column, you know I prefer to make jokes and not take things too seriously, but I assure you the biggest battle lies ahead, and that battle is for the soul of America. The Democrats are going full commie.
The Dems have some advantages. They control most of the lying media. They have the FBI spy on and arrest people who threaten the Democrats’ plans.
They didn’t like it when you showed up at school board meetings, and they lost their minds when you got on the board yourself.
The commies will try to silence you for getting in their way and speaking against them. They are actively trying to silence PJ Media because we, like you, refuse to bend our knees and lick their jackboots.