Don's Tuesday Column

THE WAY I SEE IT   by Don Polson  Red Bluff Daily News   6/23/2015

       Free stuff and mind-stealing aliens

The guest speaker at tonight’s Tea Party Patriots meeting: Tehama County Planning Director Sean Moore, discussing a 78-acre rezoning.

More political spoofs appeared in weekend reruns. In an Abbot and Costello episode called simply “The Politician,” Lou Costello, having found no employment for 15 episodes, runs for local office (is that a message?). Bud Abbot joins Costello who is giving a stump speech on a park stage, while Costello’s 4^th grade teacher lends her support.

Candidate Costello tells the crowd: “I am not a Republican, I am not a Democrat. I am a fusion of both parties. My party is Confusion.” Abbot, used to straightening out such malapropisms, blusters: “This boy doesn’t put himself with any party…Is he a Republican? No! Is he a Democrat? No! He’s in between the two.” At that point an audience member shouts: “He sure is. He eats like an elephant and thinks like a jackass!” (Cue rim shot, ba-da-bump)

A young woman’s crying interrupts Costello’s speech; he asks her to come up on stage and explain her problem. She sobs that her father gave her his shoes to get repaired and she somehow lost them; Abbot promptly tells Costello to take his shoes off and give them to the girl. The crowd claps and cheers. One after another, several women with sad stories of lost items appear and Abbot continues to offer them first, Costello’s hat, then his tie, then his shirt and, you could see this coming by then, Costello’s pants, leaving only his undershirt, socks and bloomers.

As if prepared for the indignity, imprinted on his seat was “Vote for Lou Costello.” It struck me that the difference between Abbot and Costello’s fake generosity and real politicians is that, while Costello eventually ran out of clothing to give away, the Bud Abbots in office see no end of other people’s stuff to give away, while currying favor from the recipients.

Or, as the traditional wry maxim goes: Robbing Peter to pay Paul assures you of Paul’s loyalty. A corollary is that the art of taxing is to pluck the maximum from the most without causing enough pain that they vote you out. A further corollary is British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s well stated, “The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money.”

I see that, whether in Sacramento or Washington, Democrats are chomping at the budgetary bit to creatively allocate more free stuff to people. “Free” pre-school, “free” health care, “free” food, “free” college, “free” hikes in the minimum wage, “free” expanded tax credits for the working poor.

That last one is stealthy in that it is a monetary reward for having a low-paying job. With a fixed budget and limited available tax revenue, when a group is given such a tax credit the unintended consequences are: 1) It undermines the incentive to improve one’s job skills and earn a better-paying job, 2) It becomes yet another disincentive to give up benefits from dozens of income-based entitlements, and 3) A balanced budget will, by definition, require that taxes be raised on those not receiving such tax credits. It’s budgetary vote buying—Democrats’ goal.

An episode of Wonder Woman, ironically, provided a possible explanation for the prevailing ideology in our nation’s capitol. The tendency of Representatives and Senators is to move inexorably, over time, to accept and internalize a statist, even collectivist, mentality. In “Mind Stealers from Outer Space,” a space traveler, Andros, “returns seeking Wonder Woman’s help in defending earth from an invasion of the body and mind stealing Skrill” (IMDB.com).

In this iteration of “The Body Snatchers” theme, green glittery-costumed aliens aim a multi-colored ray at someone, immobilizing them long enough to place a powerful Skrill crystal on their foreheads. In this plot, “the Skrill begin terrorizing Washington, D.C. and take over several people’s bodies after draining their minds.” The formerly freethinking victims then become automatons in service to the invaders’ wishes and schemes.

So, rather than Republicans being swayed by the dominant hard core liberal media, political class, bureaucrats and social circles in Washington—even more likely than breathing government-centric air and drinking government-glorifying water—we might want to be on the lookout for aliens with mind-stealing crystals. It could be happening, right? While our Congressman, Doug LaMalfa, has yet to show such signs, he would probably agree that something worms its way into otherwise sensible Republican brains. Could Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama be alien tools? Do you remember the “Men in Black” list of aliens among us?

On a serious note, I found a Bible quote used by cartoonist Gary Varvel to be a moving comment on the slaughter of 9 parishioners in Charleston, S.C. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 5:10). I noticed that none of the fools clamoring for us to understand what motivates Islamic terrorists are calling for us to understand the racist motives of that evil murderer. Once again, Emperor Obama drew first political blood by waving a “bloody shirt” over guns. On the shooting and potential slaughter of 11 black block party attendees by 2 young black men in Detroit, we have Obama’s silence.